Santiago Nosh-up!!

Well, I´ve had my dinner.

It started this afternoon.
I was wandering around downtown Santiago and I was a little bit off the beaten track when I passed by a small restaurant that was full of locals.
Santiago doesn´t get too many foreign tourists (although I would certainly recommend it) so it was obvious that this was a popular place to eat.
Someone once said that you should never eat in an empty restaurant, so I made up my mind that this was where I would eat tonight.
I walked in and fluently asked for a table "para uno" (for one).
I was given a menu and I casually ordered a beer, which arrived swiftly and was ice-cold and frothy. So far, so good.
None of the waiters spoke English, but hey, I´m almost a native now.
The menu made perfect sense.
I´m on a roll, now.
I ordered a traditional Chilean mixed grill with mixed salad and salsa.
The waiter gave me a funny look but I put it down to my dodgy accent.
I sat back and waited.

My food arrived, hot and sizzling, ...and there was loads of it.
I couldn´t believe that Chileans had such large appetites.
There was all manner of local sausage and steaks; a meat-eater´s heaven.

This was gonna be a mission, but I tucked in with gusto.

The steaks (beef, pork and lamb) were delicious. They were coated with local herbs and spices. Mmm mmm.
The sausages were local produce and were soooo tasty.
The salad was crisp and fresh, and the onion and jalapeño salsa instantly cleared my sinuses!!! WOW!!! it was hot stuff!!!

I fought valiantly, but reluctantly conceded defeat.
There was just too much food there, and I felt like a weebil. (Weebils wobble but they don´t fall down).
The waiters gathered round and started clapping.
Some of the other diners applauded too.
How nice, although I wasn´t sure if they were being complementary or just taking the p***.

Then a new waiter came to me and in broken English, complemented me on my sturdy appetite.

Then he offered me the desert menu!

NO WAY, JOSE!!!

I very politely declined, so he brought me a complementary liqueur instead.

It was a camomile liqueur and it was very sweet, but it was very medicinal, both in taste and effect. I certainly couldn´t drink another one though ...yeuch!!!

I struck up a conversation with the new waiter. His English was as bad as my Spanish, but somehow, we understood each other

Apparently, I was the first Brit to eat in their restaurant and he enquired if all British diners ate a meal for two...!!!

DUH!!! No wonder I´m so full!!

I asked for the bill.
Twelve quid!! How cheap is that?
But I can´t believe that I ate a meal that could´ve fed three people!
I´m sure the menu didn´t say the meal was for two people. I mean, I can read Spanish, can´t I?

I had to try to walk it off.

I paid up, and the waiters lined up to shake my hand as I left.
I felt like such a muppet, and a big fat one, at that!!!

The mountains looked so cool in the twilight sky as I took a (slow) walk back to my hotel.
My belly was so swollen and sore!
I waited ´til all the crossing lights turned green. No jumping the red lights. I didn´t fancy bouncing off the bonnet of a taxi-cab!

When I arrived back at the hotel I was ushered into the bar for a complementary cocktail.
By this time I´d walked off a good part of my dinner, and it seemed rude not to accept.

The house special was a Pisco Sour http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pisco_Sour. It tasted really good. I don´t think I´d´ve had room for a beer, so I finished my rather nice cocktail and came upstairs to write this.

I think travel fatigue is catching up with me now so I´m gonna take my fat lardy-arse up to my room and crash out on my king-size bed.
Well, if it was any smaller I wouldn´t fit on it, would I?

Punta Arenas tomorrow, if I can get out of bed, that is.